Butterflies
by runaway xo
Summary: Edward's thoughts at the alter on his wedding day. One-Shot.


**Another One-shot in a time of writers block. Darn writers block ... **

**This is how I pictured Edward's thoughts at the alter on their wedding day, if they have a wedding day. So, obviously I don't own Twilight because then I would know if they'll have a wedding or not. (Disclaimer) **

**ENJOY :) **

**and review, review, review. thanks! **

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For over a hundred years I had heard on numerous occasions humans claiming they had butterflies in their stomachs. When they said this, their thoughts were usually frantic, like a nervous energy had consumed their minds, but excited like they never wanted the butterflies to leave.

Before, I had considered myself inferior to the humans, their anxiousness a vulnerability, while I could compose myself, most emotions easily hidden away behind a hard pale mask.

When I say before, I mean before I met Bella.

As I reflect back upon it now, quiet ironically, I think I would compare Bella to a wound. Not in a bad way, as to say that along with Bella came pain, because it's quiet the opposite actually. Bella made my existence complete, like there was a whole piece of me missing, and I hadn't even realized it until Bella filled it, bringing with her the happiness and love I had always lacked. Bella made each passing day, a day to look forward to, simply because she was there. Each passing second no longer seemed immeasurable, and I no longer felt like an everlasting leaf, that would never fall off the oak tree. My existence finally had meaning. And suddenly, an eternity didn't even seem like enough time to tell Bella how much she did and would always mean to me.

I compare Bella to a wound because at first she was like a searing pain, my personal Satan, with her sweet, alluring blood. The sweet blood that had almost ruined my family and I both. Eventually the wound healed, and every single word she spoke to me was like a bandage. Her love finally mending anything that had ever damaged me. And as the wound healed, along came new skin, and the new skin consumed me, morphing me further and further away from the orthodox creature I was. I could feel it too, the adrenaline in my body when she surprised me, the superlative tingle when her warm finger tips caressed my skin. The strangest urge to run to the top of the tallest mountain and scream to the whole world that this wonderful creature chose me, and I loved her more then words were capable of describing.

And here I was, standing at the front of an overflowing chapel, crammed with people waiting to witness Chief Swan's young daughter marry a Cullen.

The music is just about to start, and the doors are just about to open. I can almost feel something rushing throw my veins, though I know it can't be blood.

In an attempt to calm myself down I gaze at our guests. My eyes falling on a group of boys from Forks High School, all looking uncomfortable and out of place in their dress pants and ties, and I can feel the emotion bubble over before I can even think enough to control it. The feeling of unworthiness that I was so familiar with. The feeling that one of them should be up here right now, with a beating heart in their chest and actual blood in their veins. Just after a second of being consumed in such an emotion I can feel my chest collapse, like my ribcage had finally become brittle and crumbled.

I feel a dull wave of calm seep through my body and I know it's Jasper trying to keep me sane. I only wish he was beside me instead of outside, waiting to walk down the aisle.

I can still hear their thoughts though, Jasper and Alice that is.

_Stop it Edward! _Jasper hisses, _This was your idea to marry her, she loves you and I think she's proved that several times. Stop trying to prove her wrong. _

Stop trying to prove her wrong. I take a deep breath.

Alice is doing calculus in her head, trying to prevent me from seeing Bella before the time comes, but I still here the words, whispered threw her head like a blessing, _Be happy Edward._

Before I can think anymore, or contemplate my selfishness, the music is playing, and the chapel is filled with a loud creek, as the thick wooden doors open, revealing Angela and Ben. I watch as they promenade down the aisle, smiles on both of their faces. I smile back, they were good friends to Bella and I both. Behind Angela and Ben is Rosalie and Jasper. I glance at Emmett, my best man beside me, he nods encouragingly and I don't even realize that I stopped breathing a while ago. Alice is next, the maid of honor, a happy gleam in her eye as she winks at me, telling me everything will work out fine.

I take one big unnecessary breath as I know who will walk down the aisle next. This is the moment I had loved and feared ever since I purposed the idea. Feared because of the afterward result. Feared because of what would happen when Bella realized her mistake. Feared because…

I feel Jasper kick my calf, to quick for a human to notice. I don't turn to look at him, or bother to listen to his thoughts, I already know what he's thinking. _Stop trying to prove her wrong._

I try to focus on the reasons why I loved the idea. Loved the idea because I could spend eternity with Bella. Loved because she would be declared mine, and no one else's. Loved because…

I need no more reasons, because at that very moment, the wedding march begins to play, and Bella takes her first steps into the aisle.

I feel my lower lip descend, my lips parting as the nonexistent air in my lungs withdraws itself from my body. I'm pretty sure my lips are formed around the word _beautiful, _but I can't be sure.

I can't describe the way she looks, not in a million years. I could search every dictionary and encyclopedia in the world, for millenniums to come, and not be able to find the right definition of how Bella looks right now.

At my expression, her cheeks turn the most delicate color of pink.

And that's when I feel it. An odd throbbing in my chest, like a bouncing ball, expanding in my chest, almost painfully as it pulsates. I know enough from listening to Bella's, that it's a heartbeat.

A heartbeat in a creature like myself would go against every legend, and mythical science. It would invalidate vampire life for centuries and even Carlisle's own studies. A heart beat is something I am suppose to lack, but at this moment, as Bella descends down the long aisle, I am without doubt that that is what it is, a heartbeat.

I hear this new sound pounding in my ears as I take Bella's hand, her touch sending tendrils of tender fire threw my body.

If possible, she looks even more beautiful up close. She stands in front of me at the alter and without thinking I reach out and touch her cheek, never was I going to admit to her that I was checking to make sure if she was real or not. I could feel a heartbeat, maybe I could sleep too, and this was all a dream.

Her face reddened at my gesture, her eyes darting to the crowd of people staring at us. "Edward what are you doing?" She whispers, though I can see the passion, unhidden in her deep brown eyes.

I think about this for a minuet, still caressing her tepid cheek with my finger tip. "Loving you," I whisper finally.

Her cheeks get darker before she smiles, her smile causing the new heart beat to pick up speed.

At this moment, I realize what people had always talked about, that feeling of floating on a cloud, scared you'll fall through, but having too much fun to care. The feeling of your nerves eating away at you, and that jumpy feeling in the pit of your body that makes you nervous but you secretly wish it never goes away.

Yes. I finally had butterflies in my stomach.


End file.
